ATLANTA — The state of Georgia passed a new elections law on Thursday mandating all future voters be issued an AR-15 assault rifle to protect themselves from violent criminals trying to pro…
Tag: Guns
NRA files for bankruptcy after “Attending a Wedding of 100” people becomes hot new way to murder
NEW YOURK CITY – Last Friday the National Rifle Association filed for bankruptcy after mass shootings officially dropped to 2nd Trendiest Way To Murder, since newcomer “attending a full wed…
In preparation for Florida move Raptors replace logo with image of shirtless man shooting fireworks at an Alligator
TAMPA – As part of their preparation to temporarily become a Florida based NBA team the Toronto Raptors have replaced their ‘claw’ logo with a cartoon of a shirtless man shootin…
But if you take away my assault weapons, I’m just a regular man with hundreds of small guns
By Bobby Stonehouse Not-my-Prime-Minister Justin Trudeau announced last week that Canada would be banning assault weapons, and I, for one, am P’d the F OFF. By doing this, JUSTIN has robbed me of…
If I do not inculcate ideals of violence and aggression in my son, how will he appreciate cowboy movies?
By Herbert Smimmer A time in our lives has arrived when words like “toxic masculinity” are getting thrown around like we used to throw around baseballs before fathers got too busy watching RuPaul…
Brave: Rather than settle for meaningless thoughts and prayers, this man tweeted about how meaningless thoughts and prayers are
In this day and age, thanks to inadequate firearms laws in many nations, we face danger from gun violence that is greater than ever before. But some of us, rather than falling back on useless pla…
Cash-strapped NRA lays off “Thoughts” department to focus solely on “Prayers”
FAIRFAX, VA – Following news from the National Rifle Association that revenue has decreased by $55 million over the past year, the gun-rights group has announced it will be shuttering the “…
NRA announces appropriate time to discuss gun control was just then and now it’s gone
Fairfax, Virginia – The National Rifle Association announced that the appropriate time to discuss gun control had finally arrived. The moment came at exactly 6:45 ET this morning and lasted…
Study: Best way to stop bad guy with gun actually good guy with lawn dart
Baltimore, MA — Americans have been shocked by research from the University of Maryland that reveals, contrary to popular belief, that the best way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with…
NRA outraged Waffle House shooting hero didn’t use gun, be white
NASHVILLE — NRA senior executives are reportedly outraged that a deadly mass shooter at a Waffle House was foiled, not by a white man with a gun, but instead by James Shaw Jr., an unarmed A…