In this day and age, thanks to inadequate firearms laws in many nations, we face danger from gun violence that is greater than ever before. But some of us, rather than falling back on useless pla…
Tag: Guns
Cash-strapped NRA lays off “Thoughts” department to focus solely on “Prayers”
FAIRFAX, VA – Following news from the National Rifle Association that revenue has decreased by $55 million over the past year, the gun-rights group has announced it will be shuttering the “…
NRA announces appropriate time to discuss gun control was just then and now it’s gone
Fairfax, Virginia – The National Rifle Association announced that the appropriate time to discuss gun control had finally arrived. The moment came at exactly 6:45 ET this morning and lasted…
Study: Best way to stop bad guy with gun actually good guy with lawn dart
Baltimore, MA — Americans have been shocked by research from the University of Maryland that reveals, contrary to popular belief, that the best way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with…
NRA outraged Waffle House shooting hero didn’t use gun, be white
NASHVILLE — NRA senior executives are reportedly outraged that a deadly mass shooter at a Waffle House was foiled, not by a white man with a gun, but instead by James Shaw Jr., an unarmed A…
Mean-spirited teenagers bully poor, defenceless NRA
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The National Rifle Association is struggling after a group of teenagers used aggressive bullying tactics to disrespect and humiliate the innocent arms advocates. NRA spok…
March For Our Lives gun control rally sets Guinness record for ‘most unarmed Americans in one location’
WASHINGTON, DC – Protesters gathered Saturday in Washington and across America for a massive demonstration against current U.S. gun laws, inadvertently setting a world record for most unarmed Ame…
All that stuff in the Harry Potter books wouldn’t have happened if the teachers had guns
Editorial by Larry Beaton For a month now people have been mocking President Trump, just because he had the audacity to suggest that our children would be safer in school if teachers were armed. …
Trump announces plan to arm firefighters with fire
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a bid to put an end to the longstanding epidemic of random fires breaking out across the nation, President Trump has put forward a bold plan to combat them by arming firefigh…
Trump insists only way to stop a bad mentally ill guy with a gun is a good mentally ill guy with a gun
Parkland, Florida – While visiting with survivors of the tragic school shooting in Florida, President Trump refused to call for gun control, and instead assured Americans, “the only thing t…