Miami, Florida – With vaccination rates stalling across the developed world even as the Delta Variant kills thousands every day, the global anti-vaccine movement is celebrating the fact that they have now killed more human beings than most of history’s brutal dictators.
“Sure we’re still a ways behind the big three (Stalin, Mao and Hitler), but every day we’re making progress,” said prominent anti-vaxxer Robert Kennedy Jr. “If we keep convincing people not to take a drug even as friends and family die around them, we could be getting up to Pol Pot numbers real quick.”
“When you think that, just a couple years ago, we were only able to kill a few kids with measles every year, it’s crazy how much we’ve grown.”
The anti-vaccine movement was started by a group of would-be serial killers who realized that, with DNA technology, it would be hard to put up the kind of stats their heroes like Bundy and Dahmer could generate. So they came up with a brilliant way to use buzzwords and pseudo-science to get people to kill themselves and people they pass on a disease to. In the COVID era this has allowed them to blow past even the most prolific deranged murderer, and allowed them to compete with “the big boys”, a.k.a. the monsters of history who used their political position to murder anyone who challenged them.
“Sorry Batista, move over Pinochet, watch your back Franco, because we’re coming for you!” said Jenny McCarthy.
The anti-vax community is also celebrating being the cause of more family fights than thermostats, tv remotes and where to go on vacation.