With Biden in office, Canadian satirists scramble to familiarize selves with Canadian politics - The Beaverton
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With Biden in office, Canadian satirists scramble to familiarize selves with Canadian politics

TORONTO – As the political climate in the settles with President in office, Satirists and political comedians all across Canada are hurrying to develop even a passing familiarity with current Canadian politics and events.

John Cote, political studies at the , explains. “It was almost amazing how little they knew. They asked the most ridiculous questions. I thought I was being pranked. Here are a few of my favourites:

– Do people actually live in Nunavut or is it a national park?
– Who played ‘The Crown’ in the show and why are they working in the Canadian justice system?
– Didn’t die in 2016?
– Is Doug related to Harrison Ford?
– Is Doug Ford related to Henry Ford?
– Why isn’t Toronto the capital of Canada?
– Is Doug Ford related to Doug from the cartoon Doug?
Forget about Canadian Politics, they hardly had any Canadian general knowledge. It’s like they let just anyone write for these websites.”

“This is depressing,” said one local anonymous satire writer who subscribes to 5 American political podcasts. “I actually have to acknowledge the problems of the country I live in, and it’s not fun. Do you know what it’s like reading news that has a direct impact on your day to day life every morning? Did you know about residential schools? I thought they were just a fancy name for private schools! It’s horrible!”

Another writer for the same unnamed website agreed, “We have to adjust the level of our smugness. Well, at least we don’t have a situation like Flint Michigan going on here. Imagine if there were people in Canada without drinking water in 2021!”

Yet another satire writer who knows how many votes Biden won by in Jefferson County, but not how many prime ministers Canada has had, concurred. “I think I’m slowly getting the hang of things. Alberta is oil jokes and their government is mean. British Columbia is the same as except their Toronto is Vancouver and they’re all hippies. Montreal beaucoup hates everyone else and that’s pretty much it… right? Ok, what did I forget?”

The writer added, “I just I could learn about Canadian news from ET or TikTok. I absolutely don’t have the patience to listen to Canadaland. Also, do you know how many times a week the National is on? At least 5 times!”

In a related story, this will be my last article by the way – if I wanted to learn things about Canada I wouldn’t have dropped out of Journalism school.