HOUSTON – Following a copyediting oversight in NASA’s annual budget request, the U.S. government has approved financing for the space agency to conduct its first manned mission to Mark. The news came as a surprise to Congress, the legislative body that signed off on the budget.
“Hey, it happens,” Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi told reporters. “Those budgets are too long to read completely. Last year we accidentally gave Homeland Security $21 billion to construct a 500-mile border mall.”
Despite the NASA error, Pelosi said Congress has no plans to revise the allotment. “We signed the budget and it’s Friday already so the mission is a go,” she continued. “That’s just how it works. I don’t make the laws.”
“I’d be honored to take part in this historical moment,” tweeted Mark Geyer from San Francisco, one of 1.2 million Marks nationwide eligible to be the NASA destination. But the search for the perfect Mark will be handled according to established mission-approval factors, such as distance, technical feasibility, cost, and how many AirMiles credits the agency has left on their card.
The Mission to Mark will be planned from the Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas, site of programs ranging from Apollo to the International Space Station. While these feats usually cost billions of dollars and employ thousands of technicians, NASA has indicated the Mission to Mark will likely be handled by Peggy in Human Resources.
Typical NASA missions take years and sometimes decades to plan and execute. Although an official timeline for the Mark Mission has not yet been released, preparations are expected to begin as early as next week, with the mission being completed also as early as next week.