NEW EDINBURGH, NS – A group of RCMP officers watched helplessly as white lobster fisherman broke into an Indigenous fishery, vandalized property, and set fire to a van.
Armed with semi-automatic pistols and protected by bullet proof vests emblazoned with the words ‘POLICE’, the twelve law-enforcement officers wondered when it was appropriate to alert the authorities.
“Are death threats and hate crimes illegal in Canada?” question Sgt. Allen Smith of the local RCMP detachment while watching several hate crimes unfold. “My brother knows a cop, so maybe I’ll call him before I report this.”
According to sources, other members of the police force said they were too busy stalking a person of colour at a local grocery store.