SARNIA, ON- A local friendly gathering known as “Beer and board games night” quickly devolved into noisy, aggressive chaos after the appearance of beer and board games.
The night was organized by Dan and Devleena Martinson as a fun new twist on the classic board games night their group of friends has enjoyed for years. Unfortunately the night took a turn for the worst after the alcohol and board games were combined.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, dude!” a severely sloshed Francis Ulston was reported as saying after another guest drunkenly knocked over several game pieces.
“You just did that cause you’re shit at Mouse Trap!”
Tensions escalated further as each guest got progressively more drunk with every new board game attempted, boiling over once Dan Martinson was called “a stupid dipshit who keep fucking me on these wheat deals,” as well as “a disgrace to the humble farmers of Catan and all they stand for.”
By the 8th Heinken, all party guest were in a terrible state. During a Trivial Pursuit question, one guest broke into tears as he recounted that his wife who recently left him “could never remember the year we landed on the moon either.”
One guest reportedly grabbed a gameboard and threw it against the wall, exclaiming “Who’s fucking SORRY now?!”
The night was brought to an abrupt end when one of the guests puked onto the couple’s unused copy of Cards Against Humanity, which immediately improved everyone’s mood.
The designated hosts of the group’s next get-together say they have learned from their mistakes, and Dungeons & Dragons & Drugs Night will be much better.