OTTAWA – Erin O’Toole, whose campaign slogan was ‘Take Canada Back’ has announced that he will focus on trying to win over the moderate voters that Andrew Scheer’s social conservatism scared away.
“Canadians need to see how much they agree with Conservative Party values like freedom, lower taxes and support for the middle class,” said O’Toole, who still hasn’t defined exactly who he wants to take Canada back from.
“I promise to appeal to both everyday Canadians just trying to look after their families and die hard right wingers who only care about owning the libs,” he added.
It’s not clear how exactly O’Toole plans to reach out to disaffected Liberal or even NDP voters, although sources within the Conservative Party have suggested taking action on climate change, and dropping his plan to jail journalists who say things he doesn’t like.
“I think if Erin can convince Canadians that he’ll be good for the economy and that he won’t provoke any kind of race war until at least his second term, he’s got a real chance,” said one party insider.
In related news the “liberal elite” currently looking for work to pay for food and/or rent on their Toronto basement apartments were excited to find out they currently “have” Canada.