OTTAWA – Despite promises they would release it on June 19th, the federal Conservatives appear to be no closer to releasing their detailed plan for addressing climate change.
“Frankly I don’t understand this. Why promise you were going to release a plan to stop climate change from destroying human life on earth when you were just going to give a speech about how taxes are bad?” inquired voter Madeline Neumeier.
For months now Conservatives have been hammering the Liberal Carbon Tax despite offering no clear alternative. This week was supposed to end that. But unfortunately their detailed plan featuring emission standards, plans for reduction and clear benchmarks to meet the Paris Accord must not have printed in time, forcing the party to release a document that talked about how cool it would be if Canada’s private sector just invented some new technology that would solve the whole thing.
“At some point they have to release an actual plan right? I mean it’s kind of a big issue,” added Neumeier.
Conservative insiders scrambled to explain why their climate change plan was not released on time. Several excuses have been floated ranging from ‘we’re still double checking the math’ to ‘our graphic designer needs more time’ to ‘we’re still waiting on approval from the oil companies.’ None of which appeared to satisfy their political opponents, like the Green Party’s Elizabeth May.
“If Andrew Scheer’s Conservatives think they can just walk into the upcoming election with no plan to address climate change, and win purely out of people not liking Trudeau anymore, well then I really hope they’re wrong about that.”
At press time, Andrew Scheer has released the Conservatives’ follow up, “The Climate Change Plan To Make Plans”.