Olympia, WA — As a participant in the protests against COVID related stay-at-home orders, conservative Tyler Loftis held a “Live Free or Die” sign to show his excitement to do both. “Governor Jay…
Tag: U.S.
Mike Pence introduces program to cure coronavirus carriers with conversion therapy
WASHINGTON D.C. – In his first hours leading the U.S. response to the COVID-19 pandemic, Mike Pence announced a bold program of conversion therapy to convince infected Americans they don’t …
Senate enters swimsuit competition portion of Trump impeachment trial
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following the legal submissions of both the Democrats and Republicans as to whether President Trump should be removed from office, the impeachment trial is now set to move on to…
Trump terrified to learn GI Joe action figures he talks to actual generals
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has expressed abject horror on discovering that the small GI Joe figures he plays with are actually high-ranking U.S. officials with the authority to imple…
Democrats pin fading hopes for justice on 16 remaining investigations
WASHINGTON D.C. – Shocked and demoralized by William Barr’s summary of the Mueller Report, American liberals are afraid they’ve lost their last best chance to hold Trump accountable, aside …
Mueller attaches literal smoking gun to report just to keep those fuckers happy
Washington D.C.— Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller has reportedly taken the unprecedented step of appending a recently used Colt 45 to his special report to U.S. Attorney General William Barr in …
Nation stunned to learn schools that charge $50,000 per year unfairly favour rich people
LOS ANGELES — In the wake of revelations that dozens of wealthy individuals have used fraudulent schemes to gain their children admission to top universities, Americans are reporting utter shock …
Totally Retro! US kicks it old school with dangerous arms race against Russia
It’s like, time to get totally radical because the United States government is returning to the 80’s with neon colours, Duran Duran and no treaties to prevent nuclear war. The whole thing started…
Mueller indicts sixth Trump associate, four more gets him a free impeachment
WASHINGTON – The arrest of longtime Trump advisor Roger Stone has put special counsel Robert Mueller more than halfway towards what experts believe to be his goal, the completion of the Pre…
Trump ends government shutdown after realizing unpaid FBI agents can still arrest people
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has announced that he is temporarily ending the government shutdown since learning that furloughed FBI agents are still allowed to make arrests. Earl…