REGINA – The Saskatchewan government announced today that it’s a little pissed that you didn’t even notice when the province used the notwithstanding clause this year to overrule a court decision on Catholic education.
The oft-forgotten prairie province criticized the lack of press coverage, outrage, and calls to overthrow the government since it announced that it would be using Section 33 back in 2017, which later became official in 2018.
“Why are you pretending we don’t exist?” said Premier Scott Moe to you with his arms folded. “We ignored the rule of law and went with the tyranny of the majority, but a news story about raccoon whose head is trapped in a peanut butter container is far more pressing for you back in May…Oh, I see how it is.
I mean, what part of the constitution do we have to violate to get noticed around here?”
The Premier sighed about how you’ve completely forgot that they passed the notwithstanding act in 1986 and didn’t even compliment them on the new grain elevators because you’ve been spending time with your big Ontario obsession.
“Where’s my condemnation from Amnesty International that we should respect the rule of law?” asked Moe. “Where’s the angry tweets about how I’m destroying the rights of individuals from you? Are we too boring for you?”
Saskatchewanians expressed further resentment with many jaded and self-conscious comments such as “Maybe we should rename Regina to ‘Toronto’” and “it’s because our topography is too flat, isn’t it?”
“We could’ve murdered the judge and dragged his corpse around downtown Saskatoon to show that the Legislature rules supreme, but that wouldn’t be enough to make CBC’s The National because we’re Saskatchewan,” remarked one local. “You know, we have feelings. I’m beginning to think you don’t have feelings for us anymore.”
At press time, the entire population of Saskatchewan locked itself into their bathrooms and aren’t coming out until the rest of Canada apologize…and they better mean it this time.