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Grateful nation waits with shotgun over George A. Romero’s grave

TORONTO – A country paid its respects to celebrated Canadian film maker yesterday evening by standing outside his grave with shotguns, shovels, and long knives.

“Mostly I wanted to honour a man who made such contributions to cinema,” said Eric Blunt. “But also, you know.”

“Probably not right? Almost certainly not. But maybe,” he added.

Romero, whose works include 1968 film and the 1978 classic Dawn of the Dead, was born in America but lived in Canada for many years. During his life he did not suffer from any strange bites nor was he exposed to radioactive contamination, at least not that he told anyone about.

“My father was a wonderful director, but an even better Dad,” said son Andrew. “Now hand me that torch so we can set him on fire if necessary.”

However after a long night of waiting dawn rose with no signs of disturbance. As the country slowly walked away from the gravesite they just missed noticing the hand punch through the grass.

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