Local adult “only has 2 weeks” to finish Halloween costume - The Beaverton
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Local adult “only has 2 weeks” to finish Halloween costume

– Despite being a 33-year-old adult male with a job and bills to pay, local copywriter Ben Gibson has expressed concern that he will be unable to complete his in time for .

“I’m really going to have to carve out some time to get this costume done right,” said the grown man with an RRSP and stock options. Gibson then showed reporters a collection of costume blueprints, before confirming that he had no children, nieces or nephews, and was not involved in any Big Brothers/ Big Sisters charity work of any kind. Instead, the early-30s working professional expressed genuine worry that he would not be able to source an acceptable wig in time for a holiday chiefly intended for children to eat candy.

Explaining that he “just loved Halloween”, the so-called adult displayed several expensive and screen-accurate costume pieces he had already acquired after months of online research. “These are the same brand of boots Edward wears in the movie – pretty spooky,” Gibson exclaimed over a normal-looking pair of black boots that cost him $650 on – money that easily could have been put towards a vacation or mortgage.

Questioned further, the curious man-child confirmed that he was not planning to enter any Halloween costume contests with large monetary prizes, nor was he entertaining switching to a career in makeup or costume design. Gibson later confirmed that he planned to attend his friend Craig and Amy’s annual Halloween house party, an event at which experts estimate he stood a 99% chance of having the most needlessly elaborate costume.

Reached for comment, Gibson’s parents Sheila and Greg Gibson seemed at a loss to justify their now-adult son’s unnatural fixation on this children’s holiday. “Ben always loved Halloween, and I guess he still does,” offered Ben’s mother Sheila, perhaps recalling that when she was 33 years of age she had birthed 3 children, started a career, and owned a home. Asked to speculate on whether their offspring would in fact complete his costume by the Halloween deadline, Greg Gibson steered the conversation to Ben’s sister Laura, and her fledgling orthodontic practice.

In the end, Ben Gibson remained cautiously optimistic, despite being able to offer a single tangible consequence if he failed to complete his costume by Halloween. “If I can find some good makeup tutorials online, pay for express shipping on the last pair of prop scissors, and maybe pull an all-nighter or two, I can get this done,” attested the man who looks from the outside just like any other normal adult professional.

When asked if he was planning to complete his costume for October 31st or the previous Saturday, Ben Gibson shouted “Oh no,” and rushed off in a hurry.