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Tag: Halloween
Mad pseudoscientist unable to replicate previous results at bringing monstrosity to life
CASTLE LAZARUS – Doctor Viktor Lazarus a “self-taught” student of the biological and galvanic sciences has purportedly been working for weeks to repeat his past success at creating ungodly …
Bullied kid in haunted house relieved to see companions picked off one by one
HUNTSVILLE, ON ― Local 16-year-old Simon Norris was reportedly delighted to discover that a supernatural creature was gradually capturing the classmates with whom he was exploring the old Douglas…
6 Halloween couples costumes that say “We’re only dating for the couples costumes”
It’s been a rocky pandemic, and breaking up with your significant other who you’ve fallen out of love with, and moving out just seems like a big hassle this year. Not to mention, couples costumes…
Woman repeating self-affirmations into mirror accidentally summons demonic life coach
TORONTO – Marie Klein, 22, found herself unwittingly calling forth a devil from the deepest Hells while going about her usual self-confidence building ritual. On the advice of a self-help b…
Dad horrified by haunted house’s baseboard installation
GUELPH, ONT. – Family patriarch, Dominic Barker found himself gripped by otherworldly terror upon witnessing the inferior craftsmanship inside the ‘Hell House Experience’ at his local community f…
Questions remain as regular hayride suddenly rebranded as haunted hayride
Vaughan ON – Many longtime patrons are still wondering what motivated Friendly Farmer John’s Hayrides to abruptly change their name to Farmer John’s Haunted Hayride. “I a…
Trudeau pledges to vaccinate at least eight more people by end of September
OTTAWA – Amid outcries from the public and members of the health industry, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has now committed to the mass vaccination of almost 10 whole Canadians by the beginning of…
Local man who always cobbles together Halloween costume last minute grateful he only has to do top half this year
EDMONTON — As Halloween draws near, local masters student Paul McBride is grateful that, unlike previous years, COVID-19 restrictions mean he only has to furiously cobble together the top half of…
Demand for Bubble Boy halloween costume reaches all-time high
OTTAWA – As spooky aficionados seek out creative ways to celebrate Halloween while practicing social distancing, an unlikely costume candidate has become popular: Jake Gyllenhaal’s characte…