PELHAM, ON – Local trick-or-treaters are expecting a big payout from a recently constructed $2 million home in a well-off neighbourhood with a minimum expectation of a full size chocolate b…
Tag: Halloween
Five horror-movie locations that will make you want to redecorate your sex dungeon
It’s Halloween season again and we all know that what that means: horror movie marathons, delicious fun sized candy, and having to switch to your indoor sex swing. But bingeing on your favourite …
6 year old hopes everyone gets that his Halloween costume is supposed to be Darth Vader wearing a winter coat
Sault Ste. Marie, ON- Grade one student, Charlie Jacobs of Little Oak Elementary, has released a statement confirming that his Halloween costume this year is in fact Darth Vader wearing a winter …
Top 5 Halloween costumes that are just the Joker you unimaginative white man
As the Halloween season approaches many people spend weeks looking for imaginative, unexpected costumes. Others do not. Beavefeed is here for all those white men who will watch Joaquin Phoenix’s …
Margaret Atwood confirms Handmaid’s Tale sequel is just original manuscript but with more exclamation points
TORONTO – Margaret Atwood delighted fans of The Handmaid’s Tale this week with the announcement that she is currently penning a sequel. However, the prolific Canadian author quickly clarifi…
Child learns the true meaning of Halloween: always accept candy from strangers
Red Deer, AB- Moira Rohan, 7 years old, learned the true meaning of Halloween, that if an adult offers you candy or other sweet treats you should eagerly accept, especially if they are wearing a …
Angry middle-aged white guy this year’s scariest Halloween costume
LOS ANGELES – Beating out more traditional horror villains, trend-spotters have declared “angry middle-aged white guy” this year’s scariest Halloween costume. Perennial icons of terror like…
Shirtless boy going out on Halloween as Justin Trudeau
PORT COQUITLAM, B.C. – Wanting to emulate his favourite feminist superhero, a local boy has spent several seconds preparing his costume as the Right Honourable Justin Trudeau by taking off…
9 cultures you could probably still get away with appropriating this Halloween
While Halloween has always been associated with spooks, candies and adorable children, for many people the best part of Halloween has always been dressing up as stereotypical, ignorant depictions…
100% of Canada’s Halloween candy suddenly eaten today
OTTAWA – For reasons as yet unknown, the nation has abruptly consumed every last piece of Halloween candy, almost two weeks before trick-or-treating is set to commence, succumbing to an acu…