QUEEN’S PARK – While invoking the Notwithstanding Clause to prevent CUPE education workers from striking, Premier Ford appeared dressed in the most terrifying Halloween costume he could ima…
Tag: Halloween
Pierre Poilievre wins Parliament’s Halloween Costume Contest with spot-on Milhouse
OTTAWA – Not content with only winning the Tory leadership election this year, Pierre Poilievre can now add another victory to his resume. He has just won the 2022 House of Commons Hallowee…
Poltergeist struggling to leave threatening message on toothpaste caked mirror
EDMONTON — The ghostly entity inhabiting the creepy old house at the end of Palmer Road is completely fed by the new occupants’ lack of cleanliness. The current residents of Ashcroft Manor inclu…
Coffee Time Manager going to pretend that all the spiderwebs are Halloween decorations
Owen Sound, ON – Management of a local Coffee Time has asked that all staff pretend that the cobwebs currently coating stationary objects were put there for the Halloween season, as opposed…
Silver medalists only survivors of Transylvania Olympics
TIMIŞOARA – The 2022 Transylvania Olympics, which invites “hale and sanguineous” athletes from around the world to compete in Romania, has concluded with only the silver medalists appearing at th…
Mad pseudoscientist unable to replicate previous results at bringing monstrosity to life
CASTLE LAZARUS – Doctor Viktor Lazarus a “self-taught” student of the biological and galvanic sciences has purportedly been working for weeks to repeat his past success at creating ungodly …
Bullied kid in haunted house relieved to see companions picked off one by one
HUNTSVILLE, ON ― Local 16-year-old Simon Norris was reportedly delighted to discover that a supernatural creature was gradually capturing the classmates with whom he was exploring the old Douglas…
6 Halloween couples costumes that say “We’re only dating for the couples costumes”
It’s been a rocky pandemic, and breaking up with your significant other who you’ve fallen out of love with, and moving out just seems like a big hassle this year. Not to mention, couples costumes…