BARRIE, ON – During a recent celebration for their 20th wedding anniversary, Barb and Fred Lynch finally shared the touching story of how a faxed dickpic cemented their relationship with their teenage son Will.
“Most people have no idea, but I’m a real pioneer in this field,” said Fred Lynch, as he reminisced on 20 years of taking photos of his dick. “But back in my day we focused on things like lighting and angles. After all it was expensive to get them developed, so each one really counted.”
The 20th anniversary celebration occurred at a local Applebee’s restaurant, where eye witnesses report the Lynch parents decided to tell their romantic “meet cute” story. While teenage son Will allegedly disagreed with his parents’ decision, accounts indicate that this did nothing to stop Mr. Lynch from relating the entire story in detail.
“First I whistled at her, she turned around, rolled her eyes and kept walking,” Fred described about his first encounter with now wife Barb. “But then I ran up to her and said ‘Hey, do you work at a post office? Cause I saw you checking out my package’. Get it?” Fred then went on to share his discovery that Barb “actually did work at the post office,” a shocking coincidence that he insists spurred him towards his eventual fax-based romantic overture.
Picking up the story from her husband, Barb reportedly explained to her horrified son how she received an influx of love letters after that initial encounter. “Your father got a real kick out of sending letters to the post office, but I wasn’t impressed,” Barb revealed. “He came off desperate, plus he overused the phrase ‘All that and a bag of chips’ which even for 1997 was pretty lame.”
As son Will attempted to focus his attention on a nearby TV screen, sources report Fred detailing how he knew he would have to double his efforts. “After the letters didn’t work, I decided to aggressively out of nowhere, fax her one of my dick pics.” He then went on to describe the process of faxing Barb the photograph, then subsequently paging her with instructions to check the fax machine. At this point Fred proudly produced the 20-year-old fax confirmation, and handed it to his visibly-repulsed son. “This confirmation took 20 minutes to receive,” boasted Fred Lynch, “but it was totally worth it.”
Barb Lynch recalls being a bit thrown off at first, but then decided the fax was “keen”. She went on to explain to her son how the fax was “innovative for it’s time”, and then further went on to explain what a fax machine actually was.
At press time, Will, was had managed to ignore their conversation by searching his phone for a dick pic to send to Amber, his classmate.
