OTTAWA – Following a series of weeks with mixing of nice weather and cold weather, Canadians from all cities and provinces have gotten tired of this windy cold shit, and just want spring to fucking happen once and for all.
From BC to Newfoundland, citizens have expressed the same sentiment that enough is enough, and nobody gives a damn about stupid cold fronts and warm fronts and how or why they happen. Everyone wants the good season to fucking begin so they can move on from this half-half bullshit that makes you think it’s started and then changes up on you the next morning.
“I spent last evening putting away my winter jacket and taking my spring clothes out of storage, then this morning I step out in a sweater and I’m freezing my ass off,” said Jim Kozmetsky, an electrician from Southern Ontario. “What the fuck is this?”
“Just stop, stop it already,” said Halifax resident Martha Hayes while sharing a photograph of a snowman with several knives stabbed into its body on her Facebook page.
At press time, citizens of Yellowknife were telling the rest of the country to “suck it the fuck up.”
