EDMONTON – Stay Free Alberta, the group behind the 300,000 person effort for Alberta Independence, have vowed to legally appeal a judge’s ruling striking down the validity of their petition, just as soon the American State Department directs them how.
While Justice Shaina Leonard ruled that the provincial government failed to meet its constitutional duty to consult with First Nations on the petition, Alberta separatists have insisted that their handlers from the US State Department “told them it was fine”.
Stay Free Alberta, led by Mitch Sylvestre, insists they will win their day in court after receiving logistical, funding, and online astroturfing support from monied US interests looking to leverage divisions among Albertans in order to gain access to Canadian cruse exports.
“We patriots at Stay Free Alberta will not be denied, and neither will the mighty power of the Trump Administration that pulls our strings,” insisted Sylvestre during a livestream principally viewed by American-funded bot accounts. “We will not be ordered around by some corrupt government bureaucrat, unless they are based out of the Washington DC, in which case that’s what they are paying us for.”
“How dare this judge tell us that our petition did not meet legal standards for a referendum,” Sylvestre explained. “Or that Alberta separating from Canada would infringe on treaty rights! Wait until the US tech oligarchs who want to build data centres in Alberta farm land hear about this!”
“Alberta’s oil belongs to Albertans… to give away to US oil conglomerates for pennies on the dollar,” Sylvestre concluded, before logging off to attend a Teams meeting with CIA and Russian operatives looking to coordinate their online disinformation campaigns aimed at boosting Alberta separatism.
Reached for comment, operatives from the US State Department denied having ties to any Alberta Separatist groups, though asked to pass along a message reminding The Centurion Project “to not be so fucking careless when stealing voter name databases”.
In a related story, Premier Danielle Smith insisted that her government would be launching its own appeal to aid Stay Free Alberta, just as soon as she receives marching orders from Mar-A-Lago.
