WASHINGTON D.C. – In a rare display of business acumen, Donald Trump is saving the United States approximately $290 billion by having his name appear on the new round of stimulus checks to …
Tag: Trump
CDC urges Americans to stay safe by doing opposite of everything Trump says
ATLANTA, GA — Following a televised White House address, the Centers For Disease Control is urging Americans to take precautions against the COVID-19 virus by studying President Trump’s ins…
Breaking: U.S. President to be man for record 232nd straight year
WASHINGTON D.C. – With Elizabeth Warren dropping out of the Democratic Primaries the United States will break its own record for longest time governed exclusively by men. “Sure we considere…
China concerned Western authoritarian government will cover up coronavirus outbreaks
BEIJING – The Chinese government has expressed concerns that a North American government which lacks transparency and checks on its executive power will cover up the severity of the COVID-1…
US arms doctors to shoot COVID-19 on sight
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump has ordered all physicians to immediately shoot COVID-19 wherever the novel coronavirus appears. “We’re going to do a great job killing coronavirus wh…
Biden intends to die as he lived; thwarting universal healthcare
Wilmington, Delaware – At a campaign event former Vice President Joe Biden re-affirmed that despite his old age he would keep fighting for the one thing he believed in, that unlike all othe…
Trump announces book about impeachment process titled, “If I Did Those 240 Things”
WASHINGTON D.C. — In the tradition of OJ Simpson’s tell-all book “If I Did It,” Donald Trump recently announced he will release a memoir detailing his impeachment process titled, “If I Did …
Kansas City Chiefs confirm they will go to Seattle for White House visit
KANSAS CITY, MO – Following their stunning 31-20 Super Bowl victory over the San Francisco 49ers, the Missouri-based Kansas City Chiefs have confirmed they will accept President Trump’s inv…
Senate enters swimsuit competition portion of Trump impeachment trial
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following the legal submissions of both the Democrats and Republicans as to whether President Trump should be removed from office, the impeachment trial is now set to move on to…
Anti-abortion protesters backed by world’s biggest baby
WASHINGTON D.C. – Anti-abortion protesters were overjoyed at the March for Life rally to receive vocal support from the world’s biggest baby. In his 295th trimester, the loud, 6’2” infant r…
