BY DOUG QUAID With her birthday today, Queen Elizabeth II is celebrating 90 years of life, and with it, 90 years of refusing to meet with me in fair combat. Since ascending to the throne at the t…
Tag: Royal Family
Adorable despot turns 92
LONDON — Nestled comfortably in one of several fortified castles that she calls home, the Head of State of 18 nations and direct descendant of the iron-fisted Tudors noted that she was look…
Queen Elizabeth II officially England’s longest-serving welfare recipient
LONDON, UK – Queen Elizabeth II is now officially England’s longest serving drain of public funds, celebrating her 23,226th day as Britain’s reigning welfare recipient. “Her Majesty is living pro…
Kate Middleton immediately pregnant again
LONDON – Fans of the Royal Family across the Commonwealth rejoiced this afternoon as Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, announced she was once again pregnant, just hours after the birth …
William and Kate confirm: ‘we just can’t stop boning’
LONDON – With the news of a second baby on the way, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have confirmed they both “really like boning.” “We are very pleased to announce that our co…
King Joffrey vows vengeance on Royal Baby
KING’S LANDING – Ravens flooded the capital city of Westeros with word that the wife of Prince William of Windsor, Katherine of Middleton, has been delivered of a baby boy named George, who…
Kate Middleton gives birth to beautiful, healthy news story
LONDON – The Duchess of Cambridge gave birth today to a beautiful 8 lb international news sensation after a lengthy labour. Middleton gave birth to the story, which will be broadcast around…
RCMP to FBI following terrorist bust: ‘Whose hats look stupid now?’
TORONTO – Following yesterday’s arrest of two individuals accused of plotting a terrorist attack on a VIA rail train, officers of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were quick to point out t…
Kate Middleton politely declines Kim Kardashian’s invitation to do pre-natal yoga together
BUCKINGHAM PALACE – The expectant Duchess of Cambridge has politely declined an offer from reality television star Kim Kardashian to accompany her to a pre-natal yoga class. The noted celebrity r…