Los Angeles, CA – After a very long week in theatres, there’s only one question on people’s minds, who is going to play Batman next? With the public’s ravenous appetite for reboots and reva…
Tag: movie
Wait, what? This lesbian movie has a happy ending
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Last week, Digimagine Filmworks released their anticipated lesbian period drama, Calling The Wife. However, viewers were shocked to find out that the film actually had a hap…
Disney announces new Pocahontas movie exploring tragic, sympathetic backstory of white Christian imperialism
LOS ANGELES – Following the success of their hit movies MALEFICENT and CRUELLA, Disney have announced that it plans to continue the trend of movies that humanize and sympathize with famous …
Partner demanding you put away phone during movie overestimates how much attention Enola Holmes requires
TORONTO – After a pausing the movie they began watching for the twelfth time, couple Samira Haggarty and Calvin Delaney broke out into an explosive fight over whether or not Haggarty could …
Trailer for new Kevin James film confirms: Kevin fall down go boom
Trailers for Kevin James’ latest Netflix film “Bonk if You’re Horny” confirmed that this summer; big dumb toenail Kevin James fall down, much bang, head go boom. Directed by a shook up can of pil…
Desperate zoo hopes use of Jurassic Park font will spice things up
KINDERSLEY, SK – After years of failing to connect with the zoo-going public, the struggling Kindersley Zoo has made a last ditch attempt to combat lagging attendance and poor online review…
“James Bond can’t be black,” says man who believes Jesus was white
BROSSARD, QC – Amidst ongoing speculation over who will be cast as the titular character in the next James Bond film, one local man has offered his take on the issue by suggesting that Mr. …
Man baffled favourite homophobic movie from high school doesn’t hold up
SHERWOOD PARK, AB – After repeatedly proclaiming it to be “the best movie of all time”, local ATB Financial branch manager, Eric Parsons, 36, was shocked Saturday to discover his favourite …
Adorable! This small town thinks their film festival is relevant!
Stop what you’re doing right now because this adorable small town is going to melt your heart with its sweet innocence! Whitwell, Manitoba is home to the darling 4 year old Whitwell Weekend Film …
“I know exactly how to fix America” claims teenager who just watched Fight Club for the first time
COCHRANE, AB – Local teen Ryan Killicky claims that he has the answer of how to fix the massive social and political turmoil occurring within the United States, and that the solution lies w…