Mothers Archives - The Beaverton

Tag: Mothers

Mom cannot remember title of favourite song

Napanee, ON —Despite a concerted attempt to summon helpful memories, and numerous prompting questions from family and friends, local mom Diane Peters is unable to recall the title, artist or era …

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Nation’s toddlers demand more uppies

OTTAWA – In a move that many experts fear will cause a rift in already strained negotiations, Canada’s toddlers unilaterally demanded more uppies earlier today. Talks have entered arbitrati…

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Report: Oh fuck, Mother’s Day!

OTTAWA—Scientists released a report today indicating that shit! It’s Mother’s Day! Fuck, what time is it? Authors of the report further stated that goddamn it, Mom’s probably already in bed by no…

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Local Mother’s Day ruined by Freudian Slip

SASKATOON, SK – Witnesses report that local businessman, Jared Rice, has made Mother’s Day intolerably awkward for everyone around him after he accidentally introduced his mother, Ruth, as …

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