money Archives - The Beaverton

Tag: money

Rich fuck eating something gold

NEW YORK CITY –  Even though it adds absolutely no flavour, noted rich fuck, Andy Robinson, 48, of independent investment firm RRBexchange Capital was reported seen paying over $1000 to add…


Report: Bank cheques cost how fucking much?

TORONTO – In a survey of the nation’s major banks, a new report published today states that ordering cheques from your bank can cost anywhere from “Wait, how fucking much?” to “Jesus, you g…


Financial planner recommends having more money

HALIFAX – Financial planner Marlene Singh has earnestly told her clients that, in order to be financially secure, they should have a lot more money. “In my professional opinion, I can not s…


Rich friend suggests going to concert

CALGARY – Dave O’Neil, a local man who must have family money or something, has suggested to his group of friends that they all go see the upcoming Foo Fighters concert. “I think it would b…