WINDSOR – The scientific community is reeling after a Kleenex has allegedly emerged from a heavy-duty wash cycle soft, usable, and not in a gross little clump. According to local resident Michell…
Tag: Featured Post
Fuck! Group of teens just noticed you
EDMONTON – In truly alarming news it appears that a group of 8 teenagers at the mall is looking at you, a fully adult man with kids, a mortgage and a Costco membership. “Stay cool, st…
Seasoned traveller impresses date by showing up for dinner wearing neck pillow
EDMONTON — Self-styled globetrotter and citizen of the world Bryan Kneeth scored major points with his date by showing up for dinner wearing his favourite neck pillow. “I’ve seen guys boarding pl…
Conservatives explain why Pierre Poilievre attacking ‘globalist elites’ isn’t antisemitic
Pierre Poilievre is refusing to back down from criticism for attacking ‘globalist Davos elites’ in a Conservative fundraising email. Even though the term globalist is a well-known dog…
Read our letter threatening to sue Mark Zuckerberg
Meta was stopping people from seeing our content so we took action…
Canadian tourist shocked to discover other countries don’t put shitty carnivals next to their Wonders Of The World
EGYPT – In the midst of a grand tour to see all the wonders of the world, Canadian Jacob Pleasance was surprised that, unlike Niagara Falls, not all the Wonders Of The World are accompanied…
BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg discovered dead in midst of squirrel orgy and you know this is from a real news source since it’s being blocked on Meta
MENLO PARK – The Beaverton has just confirmed that the body of billionaire Mark Zuckerberg has just been discovered in a pile of thousands of writhing, mating squirrels. The chairman and CE…
Liberals explain why they can’t do anything about the housing crisis
As Canadians face skyrocketing mortgages and rent, leaving many without a place to live altogether, the federal Liberals have insisted there is nothing more that they can do. We asked a few promi…
Study: Being hated by Piers Morgan, Jordan Peterson et al. most likeable thing about Justin Trudeau
OTTAWA – A new study has found that for many Canadian voters, the biggest reason they would consider supporting Justin Trudeau in the next election is how mad he makes extremely online righ…
Blue Jays pair ‘Jr. Jays Sundays’ with ‘Dour Childless Mondays’
TORONTO – To supplement the Toronto Blue Jays’ family-oriented Sunday afternoon games, the organisation has announced that Monday night games will now be marketed at depressed, childless singles …
