TORONTO – In response to the NDP’s campaign promise to institute universal dental care for Ontario residents if elected, the Progressive Conservatives announced their own dental plan: a sin…
Tag: Doug Ford
Deep down, you always knew it was going to come to this
By: Doug Ford Did you expect anything else? In your heart of hearts, in the place where your greatest hopes and darkest fears reside, in that netherworld between sleep and nightmare at which poss…
Ontario PCs elect drug dealer to replace sex criminal
TORONTO – After this weekend’s hard-fought leadership election, the Ontario Progressive Conservative party has proudly announced that they’ve elected Doug Ford, a former drug dealer, to rep…
Update: Christine Elliott 7 more PC leadership runs away from winning a free 6 inch sub
TORONTO – With another stamp on her Ontario PC Point Card, Christine Elliott has seven more attempts at trying to win the Ontario Progressive Conservative leadership before she earns hersel…
Patrick Brown drops out of PC race to plan next re-entry to PC race
BARRIE – Embattled former Ontario Progressive Conservative leader Patrick Brown has suspended his campaign for party leader, in order to spend more time planning his upcoming campaign for p…
Patrick Brown, Doug Ford likely to split all-important asshole vote in Tory leadership race
TORONTO – With the leadership vote mere weeks away, pollsters are reporting that frontrunner Doug Ford and disgraced former leader Patrick Brown are splitting the vote of the PC party’s lar…
Ontario PC leadership candidate Doug Ford hoping everyone has forgotten 2010 through 2014
TORONTO – Announcing his intention to replace disgraced Ontario Progressive Conservative leader, Patrick Brown, Doug Ford is banking that everyone has forgotten events occurring between the…
Mid-level drug dealer announces bid for Ontario PC leadership
TORONTO – A successful mid-level hash dealer named Doug Ford has announced his leadership bid for the Ontario Progressive Conservatives. The entrepreneur made the announcement earlier today…
Toronto Mayor John Tory smashes crack pipe to christen new Rob Ford Memorial Stadium
TORONTO – Mayor John Tory partook in a ceremony at the newly named Rob Ford Memorial Stadium this afternoon, christening the park by smashing a slightly burnt crack pipe against a concrete …
Doug Ford announces plans to make 2018 fucking unbearable
TORONTO — In the lead-up to his annual Ford Fest rally, Doug Ford is already announcing plans to make 2018 “absolutely frigging brutal” by once again running for mayor. “Doug’s back, losers…
