OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney held a press conference today to announce a renaming of the “Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms”, the document that enshrined our foundational set o…
Tag: Canada
Carney hoping Canadians too busy applying for jobs to notice skyrocketing unemployment numbers
OTTAWA – In the wake of a jobs report showing the national economy lost 66,000 in August alone, Prime Minister is hoping that Canadians will be too preoccupied with filling out online job a…
Danielle Smith says Canada has some of the lowest living standards in the world thanks to her hard work
Calgary, Alberta – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has made headlines after stating that Canada has some of the lowest living standards in the world thanks mostly to her time in office. “I e…
Patriotic Canadians resigned to consuming Pizza Pizza
BARRIE – In the face of the Trump administration’s trade war, everyday Canadians have been taking drastic measures to support the Canadian economy – such as purchasing and pretending to genuinely…
Western World to recognize Palestine as a state in September if it’s still there
PARIS/LONDON/OTTAWA – The governments of France, the UK and Canada have said they will do what’s morally right and recognize Palestine’s right to exist as a nation as early as September, pr…
Mark Carney seeks to reach young Canadians by delivering speech in form of rap
OTTAWA – Facing resistance to proposed austerity measures as well as criticism of his handling of US trade talks, Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced plans to reach millennial Canadian…
Cottage Country summit stalls as premiers clash over who is next in line to ride inner tube
MUSKOKA, ON – Talks at the First Ministers meeting, held this year in Ontario cottage country, have broken down as the assembled premiers immediately disagreed over who was next in line to …
Trump ends trade talks with Canada, resumes trade talks with Canada, ends trade talks with Canada, demands to know which European country is Canada
WASHINGTON, DC – U.S. President Donald Trump has publicly announced that he will cease all discussions with Canada over any new trade agreements, before immediately following that up statin…
Canada signs deal with EU on defence, entry to Eurovision
BRUSSELS, BELGIUM – In addition to signing a strategic partnership with the European Union, Prime Minister Mark Carney has brokered a far more important deal allowing Canada to finally take…
Canadians travelling to the US advised to not fucking do that
OTTAWA – Canadians thinking of planning a trip to the United States are being advised by the Government of Canada to perhaps consider going anywhere else on the entire fucking planet for th…
