OLDFOUNDLAND AND LABRADOR ― In a move being described by millions of Canadian pedants as “about time,” Newfoundland is relinquishing its hold on its increasingly inaccurate name to become Oldfoun…
Tag: Canada
Trudeau hires consulting firm to examine government over-reliance on consulting firms
OTTAWA – Amidst charges that the Federal Liberal Party has awarded excessive contracts to consulting firms, namely McKinsey & Company, Prime Minister Trudeau has vowed to study the sit…
“Everything is broken so lets make it worse” vs “Everything is perfect so let’s fix nothing”
“Everything is broken so lets make it worse” by Pierre Poilievre It is a fact: our beloved Canada is irreparably broken. From unaffordable housing, to rampant inflation, to bold leaders being moc…
Four tips for mental wellness that don’t do shit because it’s dark at fucking 4pm
It’s important to do everything possible to stay ahead of the winter blahs, especially as the long nights drag on and January’s icy grasp makes you want to leave this frigid mortal coil. Luckily,…
Premiers demand more healthcare funding to spend on fuck you, that’s what
WINNIPEG – A recent meeting of Canada’s Premiers has seen the provincial leaders urgently request that Prime Minister Trudeau provide increased healthcare funding, to be spent on none of yo…
Canadians outraged that Sovereignty Act would keep Alberta in country
OTTAWA – Canadians nationwide are expressing their anger and frustration with Alberta Premier Danielle Smith’s proposed Sovereignty Act, fearing that it could mean that the province will re…
Millennials call for “youth” to be redefined as whatever age they currently are
OTTAWA – In a recent statement, the nation’s millennials have called for the definition of “youth” to be urgently changed to whatever age they are right now. “This is a crisis,” says Ashley…
Trudeau assures China that condescending manner used only for Canadian voters
BALI – Following Chinese claims that Justin Trudeau was acting in a “condescending manner” toward Xi Jinping, the Canadian prime minister has assured Chinese officials he is only condescend…
Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston insists healthcare system is in great shape as long as you don’t need healthcare
HALIFAX – In a press conference Wednesday, Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston insisted that reports of Nova Scotia’s crumbling healthcare system have been overblown, and that the province’s he…
Canada to allow international students to work more hours to expedite exploitation
OTTAWA, ON- Canada has finally stepped into the 19th century by removing labour limits on how many hours international students are allowed to work, so that they don’t need to wait for graduation…
