Taking a page out of Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP, Margaret Atwood has made a controversial career decision.…
Tag: Books
University hazing: first year English Literature students forced to read Milton out loud
KINGSTON – Queen’s University administration is currently investigating a hazing incident involving first year English literature students who were forced to read Books IV to IX of Milton’s…
5 must-read summer novels we shot out of a cannon
If you haven’t prepared your summer reading list yet, we’ve got you covered. We compiled a list of some of the most buzzworthy novels, then loaded them into a nineteenth-century English cannon an…
Heroic man saves woman from having to read book on subway
TORONTO – Local man Chris Reuben is a hero today after his quick thinking and intervention saved Louisa Valdez from reading her book on the subway. “When I saw the book I knew I only had se…
Panelists decide which author to execute on day 3 of Canada Reads
TORONTO – Partway through another day of grueling debate, the Canada Reads panelists are still deciding which of the three remaining authors will be sacrificed today to guarantee another ye…
George R. R. Martin threatens to kill himself off in next Thrones book
SANTA FE — After Game of Thrones fans responded with outrage to his announcement that he will be unable to deliver another novel before the premiere of the franchise’s next TV season, autho…
Family arguing in Mississippi Walmart checkout accidentally writes new Faulkner novel
MISSISSIPPI – Members of the slowly dissolving Sendwick clan, Collum and his children Leonard and Franny, have unintentionally created a previously unavailable work from Nobel Prize-winning…
Frustrated novelist struggling to write scene where main character opens pickle jar
TORONTO – Writer Alice Nguyen has found herself completely unable to complete a pivotal moment in her novel in which her main character, Michael, opens a pickle jar. “I just can’t find his …
Man buys $30 book on how to save money
KELOWNA – After years of overspending and struggling to maintain a budget, local man Miles Kirkpatrick has decided to buckle down and get serious about things by buying Dollars and Sense: K…
Erotic novel really overestimates appeal of euphemism ‘porking’
CALGARY – Critics of Marie Montgomery’s latest erotic novel, Angela’s Awakening, have unanimously agreed that the book suffers from an overuse of the verb “porking” to describe the act of m…
