QUÉBEC – Pauline Marois confirmed today that she had dismissed Jean Carrière, the PQ’s candidate for Lafontaine, because an islamophobic image he posted on Facebook contained English text. “Ours is an...
Man trapped in IKEA for three weeks emerges knowing only how to församla the fyrkantig
MONTREAL – After being lost inside the Montreal IKEA superstore for over three weeks, a local man is now only able to converse in IKEA themed Swedish. Jerry Larsson, who subsisted mainly on a di...
I bet my daughter could beat up your daughter
By Henry Smithersbee Hey you! How strong is your daughter? I bet you that my daughter could totally beat up your daughter. Yeah, she’s really strong, and tough and stuff. So I don’t think your daughte...
Federal government introduces new immigration demerit point system
OTTAWA – Immigration Minister Chris Alexander announced today a new immigrant demerit point licensing system to compliment the existing immigration point system. The demerit point system –...
Brave theatre student comes out as straight
TORONTO – Third year theatre student Braydon Stamkos has revealed to his family and friends that he could no longer lie by omission and revealed that he is straight. “For too long, I have been s...
Report: Majority of climate change documentaries have slanted climate change prevention agenda
OTTAWA – A damning new report released by the Petrol Centre for Climate Studies has revealed that over 95% of documentary films featuring data on climate change have “unequivocal” biases that pr...
Environmental scientists struggle to close giant hole in climate change denier’s layer of reasoning
GENEVA – Researchers at the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) are currently working hard to seal the chasmal gap in the arguments regurgitated by deniers of global climate change and ot...
After travel mix up, Stephen Harper accidentally signs free trade agreement with North Korea
PYONGYANG – After a pilot error took him to the wrong part of the Korean peninsula, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper mistakenly signed a free trade agreement with the North Korean Democrat...
Former Sun News boss commences Phase II of plan to destroy Canada
MONTREAL – Former Quebecor CEO Pierre Karl Péladeau initiated the second phase of his secret seven point plan to sabotage Canada on Sunday when he announced he would be the Parti Québécois’ cand...
Canadian Screen Awards cancelled after only two episodes
TORONTO – After a short two episode run, little watched and poorly advertised Canadian television program, the Canadian Screen Awards, was cancelled by the CBC today. “Unfortunately, given the f...
