MONTREAL – After being lost inside the Montreal IKEA superstore for over three weeks, a local man is now only able to converse in IKEA themed Swedish.
Jerry Larsson, who subsisted mainly on a diet of Lingonberry spread, Knackebrod Flerkorn, and occasionally foraged mashed potatoes and meatballs from discarded trays, is thinner but is otherwise in good health.
“Malm lack simla sninglr adel,” Larsson said, appearing relieved and smiling in his minimally furnished apartment replete with simple yet stylish lamps and wall decorations. “Knapper isfjorden hemnes, stave mongstad,” he giggled, “pax breim brusali trysil birkeland!”
After a brief hospital stay, Larsson has been recovering at home, but has been trying to undo all the furniture in his house with an Allen key, demands meatballs and gravlax at every meal, and rearranges all the throw pillows to coordinate better with his newly installed recessed lighting.
Larsson’s doctor is completely astounded by this condition.
“We are not really sure what this is,” he said, “but this may be a cousin of Stockholm syndrome.”