I preferred Question Period on Twitter because the decorum was better and I got to do it naked

By Thomas Mulcair, Leader of the Opposition Now that the House is back in session I’ve come to a conclusion. I was sitting in QP (what we pros call Question Period), and realized that it was a lo…

University of Calgary: The Beaverton University Reviews

Name: University of Calgary Nickname: Ol’ Rootin, Tootin’, and Pollutin’ Motto: “There will be blood.” History: University of Calgary was founded in 1966 as a direct response to the aggressively …

Rob Ford’s proposed Subway extension to bring 18-inch sandwiches to Scarborough

SCARBOROUGH – After years of uncertainty, the City of Toronto finally has enough dough for a Subway plan that will increase the size of the Footlong by six inches. The project, part of a broader …

University of Waterloo: The Beaverton University Reviews

Name: University of Waterloo Nickname: Ol’ Lotta Geese Motto: 01100101 01101110 01100111 01101001 01101110 01100101 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 0010000…

Justice Minister Peter MacKay admits to not fully understanding Canadian ‘legal thingy’

New Glasgow, NS – Justice Minister Peter MacKay faced a “surprisingly difficult and uncomfortable” line of questioning concerning the Canadian legal system while visiting Mrs. MacDonald’s grade f…

Dr. Abraxas’ University for Students Who Definitely Don’t Have Mutant Powers: University Reviews 2013

Name: Doctor Abraxas’ University for Students Who Definitely Don’t Have Mutant Powers Nickname: Ol’ Normal Motto: “It is just a coincidence that government agents develop headaches when they get …

Carleton University: University Reviews 2013

Name: Carleton University Nickname: Ol’ Cemented and Demented Motto: The “K” Stands for “Quality” History:  Founded in 1942, it is said that Carleton was originally built to hide an enormous, sub…

Thousand monkeys fill thousand typewriters with poop

MONTREAL – Sealed in the “Monkey Chamber” beneath Redpath library, the thousand monkeys tasked with creating the next great work of English literature have succeeded only in filling their t…

CN: Train drivers just too ahead of the curve for old fashioned tracks

CALGARY – CN has declared that the recent spate of train derailments stem from the overtraining and high talent level of the drivers. “Part of the problem is our train conductors are …

NHL bans concussions

TORONTO – In response to the number of severe head injuries professional hockey players have suffered in recent years, the National Hockey League has banned all players from getting concuss…