The guy who replaced Jack Layton to wear name tag
OTTAWA – In an effort to get Canadians accustomed to his name, the Official Opposition Leader who replaced the late Jack Layton will now be wearing a name tag during working hours. “Canadia…
Human Rights Museum to revitalize Winnipeg’s economy by showcasing the suffering of others
WINNIPEG – Canada’s Human Rights Museum, with its seven floors of exhibits on the brutality endured by peoples the world over, is expected to be an economic boon to the city. “If it weren’t for t…
New survey reveals people hate tedious questioning
VANCOUVER – A recent, municipal census regarding what shade of Beige citizens prefer for the Town Hall lobby, revealed that people are fed up with answering vexatious questionnaires. Deputy…
Scottish voters say ‘ach ye windie voon dawn’ to independence
EDINBURGH — After years of country-wide debate, and a frenzied campaign that appeared to tighten in the final weeks, the result of Scotland’s independence referendum made a resounding internation…
Boring student spends year abroad in Buffalo
BUFFALO, NY – Halfway into his year-abroad, Hamilton native Walter Meadows is reporting satisfaction with the cultural experience he’s received as a transfer student to upstate New York. Ci…
Newfoundland Premier-Designate accused of insufficient quirkiness
ST. JOHN’S – The winner of Saturday’s Progressive Conservative Leadership race, Paul Davis, stands accused of being insufficiently unusual to lead Newfoundland and Labrador. Opposition pol…
Hazel McCallion to retire due to Golden Girls marathon
MISSISSAUGA – Long time Mayor of Mississauga Hazel McCallion has recently announced that, after 30 years of sitting the mayoral seat, she’s ready to hang up her sash. According to Mccallion…
New Tory bill aims to make refugees feel more at home by keeping them in poverty
OTTAWA – Conservative Members of Parliament are proposing a new bill that the party hopes will make refugees feel more at home in Canada by ensuring their new lives remain as destitute and hopele…
Local leaves lament frail mortality of poet
CALGARY — This September, as children leave their summer games to return to school, and their parents begin to reluctantly don winter sweaters, the leaves outside the window of local poet Thom Mu…
