OTTAWA – With the 2015 election just around the corner, Stephen Harper has launched a major political offensive, lambasting the current government for its mismanagement of the nation’s finances.
“For the last three elections, this government has campaigned on the economy, and yet here we are in another recession,” said Harper. “Our country needs a Conservative government to clean up this mess.”
Citing business-unfriendly policies like abolition of the long-form census and failure to fund research and infrastructure, Stephen Harper called for Canadians to boot out the current government, and elect his party in its place.
“Basing the entire country’s economy on the success of the oil sands was nearsighted,” said Harper. “If elected Prime Minister, I promise to base the entire country’s economy on the success of a different fossil fuel, like shale gas, or bone smoke.”
Harper also mocked the Conservatives’ recent emphasis on national security as an ‘obvious bid’ to draw attention from their failed economic policies.
At press time, the Prime Minister responded to Mr. Harper’s remarks by releasing an ad that accused him of being ‘not ready’ for the job.
