Racism can be traced back tens of thousands of years to cave paintings in France, where early homo-sapiens are depicted in “Neanderthal Face.” Although scientists are coming to the conclusion that rac...
RBC bests Scotiabank with new ad campaign ‘you’re richer than the government thinks’
TORONTO – RBC has announced a new slogan designed to compete with Scotiabank’s popular ‘you’re richer than you think’ in which the bank assures people that they can be wealthier than they tell t...
Friend never figured Dave for kind of guy to be killed by vampire hunter
WINDSOR, ON – Following the destruction of his friend Dave at the hands of a vampire slayer this afternoon, local man Mark Fresno has expressed mild surprise at the manner of his friend’s ...
Nobody in national defence headquarters remembers what flashing red light means
OTTAWA – Hours after the dusty light bulb in the corner of every office inside the National Defence Headquarters began to flash red, the entire civilian and military staff of the building remain...
Saskatchewan election coverage bumped by breaking news story on cat in tree
REGINA — Election results for the 2016 Saskatchewan election have been interrupted with a late-breaking story of a feline in a tree. CBC, CTV, Global and other news channels immediately cut repo...
Ted Cruz: No woman should be punished for getting an abortion before she goes to hell
MADISON — GOP candidate Ted Cruz has condemned Donald Trump’s recent statements that women who have abortions should face legal penalties, and emphasized that no woman should be punished for this unti...
Ontario Liberals host campaign finance reform fundraiser dinner at $7,500 a plate
TORONTO — Last night’s lavish Political Contributions Reform Gala hosted by the Ontario Liberal Party featured the province’s most prominent corporate and union lobbyists. Representing corporate...
If Trump gets elected, I’m moving to the United States
BY: BRIAN LILLEY When he announced his candidacy for President of the United States, the public and the media at large dismissed him as a buffoon. Now, almost one year later, there is a very real poss...
Justin Trudeau misses budget vote while staring at his own reflection
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau missed a crucial vote on the proposed Liberal budget this morning after the Prime Minister spent too long staring at himself in the bathroom mirror again. “I apologize to...
A message from the Beaverton’s new editor-in-chief, Ezra Levant
BY: EZRA LEVANT Dear fellow Canadian patriots, I am truly happy to finally be employed again. Getting appointed to editor-in-chief of a trusted news source sure beats the heck out of living in your pa...
