EDMONTON – As the NDP prepares to meet for its annual party convention, a new challenger has emerged to current party leader bearded Tom Mulcair: a Tom Mulcair without a scraggly, rapidly greyin...
OJ believes OJ did it after binge-watching American Crime Story in jail
Lovelock Correctional Center- Correctional Officers say inmate O.J. Simpson has become convinced that the main character from the television series American Crime Story: The Trial of OJ Simpson is gu...
Mississippi boundaries redrawn to officially relocate state to the wrong side of history
JACKSON, MISS. – Following the passage of a bill containing sweeping anti-LGBTQ legislation, Mississippi lawmakers have voted to relocate the state to the wrong side of history, just to make thi...
Panama law firm pretty pleased they were able to hide the human-hunting stuff
PANAMA CITY – Representatives of Mossack Fonseca, the law firm at the center of the Panama Papers leak, have spent the days since the leak visibly relieved that none of the human-hunting stuff h...
Woman getting off at Museum Station probably works at the museum
TORONTO – A mysterious woman set off a firestorm of speculation yesterday when she exited the subway train at an unconventional stop, Museum Station*. “I thought she must’ve missed her transfer onto t...
Whitehorse mascot awarded Key to the City
WHITEHORSE — The City of Whitehorse announced today that it will giving the prestigious Key to the City to the Liberty Tax Services mascot. According city council, the gigantic maple leaf advert...
Date going pretty well, thinks man with laser sight trained on his center of mass
VANCOUVER – After twenty minutes of interesting and flirtatious conversation, local man Andrew Chen believes his date to be going pretty well, unaware of the fact that a red dot has been hoverin...
Icelandic PM forced to resign following uproar of dozens
REYKJAVIK – Icelandic Prime Minister Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsson resigned this week following disclosure that he had, at one time, secretly held millions of dollars’ worth of Icelandic bank bonds in ...
Brandon U requires sexual assault victims to sign nondisclosure before yelling for help
BRANDON—The Student Services department at Brandon University has instituted a new policy that protects students by requiring them to sign a non-disclosure agreement prior to calling for aid while the...
