Conservatives claim Canada only country in the world to successfully deny deficit
OTTAWA – Despite a report from the Parliamentary Budget Officer indicating that the nation’s budget will not be balanced, the Conservatives triumphantly announced today that Canada is the f…
Google restructuring allows company to concentrate on exploiting your private data
SAN JOSE – The move to make technology giant Google part of a larger holding company, Alphabet Inc., will allow the company to better focus on running its products as well as on abusing the perso…
Joe Oliver still scheduled to speak at tree house, no girls allowed
TORONTO — Conservative Finance Minister Joe Oliver will appear at an elite all-boys tree house club to woo supporters after cancelling a speech at a men-only club. “Mr. Oliver will st…
Quebec taxi drivers caught taking Uber rides home after protest
MONTREAL – After a protest staged by taxi drivers in downtown Montreal rallying against the ride-sharing service Uber, several protesters were caught using UberX vehicles to get home afterw…
Zombie Walk takes tragic detour through Chainsaw Expo
SEATTLE – Attendees at this summer’s Seattle Zombie Walk met a gruesome and wholly predictable end after taking a detour through the nearby 2015 Husqvarna Chainsaw Expo. The annual Zombie W…
Whitehorse tourism tram replaced with high speed bullet train
WHITEHORSE — Unveiling a much faster way of showcasing the city to visitors, the Whitehorse Waterfront Trolley will be replaced with a Japanese-built high speed bullet train capable of reac…
QUIZ: What is your white name?
1. What’s your favourite colour? a) Violet b) Fire Engine Red c) Hawthorne Yellow d) Sky Blue 2. Are you a cat person or a dog person? a) Cat b) Dog 3. Where is your summer home? a) Muskoka b) Th…
Local man tidies small corner of apartment for Skype call with parents
HALIFAX – Local veterinary technician Brian Chambers, 27, has reportedly cleaned a small fraction of his one bedroom apartment in advance of a Skype call with his parents, in hopes of creat…
China now outperforming U.S. at economic meltdowns
BEIJING – Following decades of surpassing the United States in education, manufacturing, and international trade, China is now outperforming its American rivals at economic meltdowns. “It’s super…
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BY: MARGARET ATWOOD ██████████ ████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ██████████████████████████████████████████…
