Facebook hosts upcoming election debate between middle school friend, Rick’s uncle
OTTAWA – With the Canadian election period officially begun, Facebook has announced plans to broadcast the upcoming online policy debate between Kaylee, a former friend from middle school, …
Poll: Liberals, Conservatives neck-and-neck among left-handed Yukoners
According to the five person poll, both the Grits and Tories hold 33% of southpaw support with the NDP a distant 17%. “Both leaders have been meeting with the lefty lobby in this riding,” said F…
87% of Nation’s receptionists agree: Mr. Johannsen not available at the moment
WINNIPEG – A recent country-wide survey of the nation’s receptionists has revealed that 87% of them agree that Mr. Johannson, Vice President of Marketing and Analytics, is not available at …
Harper calls economy a liar during debate
TORONTO — Canada’s system of production and consumption of goods and services was put on the defensive at the Maclean’s National Leaders Debate when Prime Minister Stephen Harper accused it…
Fox News blames Bert and Ernie for Piggy/Kermit split
WASHINGTON— Reporting on the separation of Muppet characters Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, commentators for the Fox News Network have blamed the stars’ break-up on the alternative and subversiv…
Trudeau promises that if elected he will be Prime Minister
OTTAWA – During a speech to Liberal supporters, Justin Trudeau took time to promise the Canadian public that if his party is elected to government, he will make sure that he serves as the h…
Self-driving car lead suspect in Hitchbot murder case
PHILADELPHIA, PA- Following the murder of Canadian-made robot Hitchbot, Philadelphia police have released the identity of their main suspect; Google automated car GC-8402. “We think there must ha…
Airlines announce disruptive children to be checked into cargo
TORONTO – Airline passengers easily annoyed by rambunctious children are sighing in relief after numerous Canadian airlines announced they will now require all disruptive children to be che…
Scientists at University of the Lord discover that Jesus is Lord
BARN GLORY, ON – A surprising new study from University of the Lord has revealed that Jesus Christ, and not anybody else, is Lord. “We started from the premise that somebody had to be Lord,…
Journalist wastes bi-monthly question with Stephen Harper by asking if he could ask a question
LAVAL – National newspaper reporter Eric Hitchens wasted his first chance to ask Stephen Harper a question in over two months by first posing whether it would be acceptable to ask a questio…
