CHICAGO, IL – Finally able to follow in the footsteps of his longtime hero Milton Friedman, the Make-A-Wish Foundation has let one sick little boy live his dream of becoming a tenured professor ...
6 home recipes for holiday eggnog that are just as disgusting as the store brand
We’ve all been there: your holiday scene is set. The tree is up, the kids are asleep, and you’re ready to relax in front of the fire with a plate of cookies and Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas.” But al...
Local mall Santa goes above and beyond, pretends he didn’t fight in Afghanistan
BURNABY, BC – Performing the role with grace and feeling, local man Connor McKenzie has never once in his time as a mall Santa let on that he fought for three years as part of the American-led coalit...
Premier vacationing in Costa Rica says he’ll be working hard on tan for Manitobans
San Jose, COSTA RICA – Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister has vowed that he will be working hard to make his skin the perfect bronze colour for the benefit of all citizens while he vacations in Co...
President-elect Trump visited by, deports, three Christmas ghosts
MANHATTAN – President-elect Donald Trump has reported being visited by, and subsequently ordering the deportation of, the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet To Come. The visitations repo...
Ikea Divorce Offerings
Finally, something from Ikea you don’t have to assemble at home!...
Restored transfer payments should help territories stave off wolves this winter
YELLOWKNIFE – With the Trudeau government having restored some $67 million in transfer payments to the North last Spring, the Territories are hoping only 10-15% of their populations will be eate...
EDITORIAL: Just a heads up that your cousin Michael is gay now – by Aunt Pam
Merry Christmas, Tompkins family! It’s time for my holiday family newsletter and it’s an important one, so read closely. Even though there’s lots going on in the Tompkins clan, I just thought everyone...
Liberals unveil new rock-paper-scissors protocols to determine immigrants’ futures
OTTAWA — At a press conference on Thursday the federal government announced that they would replace the outmoded first-come first-serve immigration application process with a global rock-paper-...
Canadians overcome adversity: BeavFeed
These Canadians told us their stories, and what happens next will blow your mind!...
