From the first, lust-filled round of craft beer to the eighth break-up bottle of scotch, the arc of your failed 2016 relationships is perfectly documented on the credit card statements you need to por...
Canada responds to US lumber tariff by slapping 30% tax on white nationalism
OTTAWA — The Canadian government this week responded to US President Donald Trump’s decision to impose a 20% tariff on softwood lumber imports by implementing a 30% tax on America’s chief export...
Tim Hortons launches answer to Unicorn Frappuccino: a cup of neon paint
OAKVILLE, ON – Releasing it hot on the heels of Starbucks’ multi-coloured Unicorn Frappuccino, Tim Hortons has announced its own Instagram-ready drink: a cup filled with neon paint. The co...
BV+: Has PC Culture gone TOO far?
Meet the courageous Professor standing up to PC culture....
Graduating university student going to miss having excuse to live in own filth
MONTREAL – After four years of using his educational status to deflect judgement, Concordia student Navin Singh already misses having a solid excuse to live in his own filth. “Used to be that wh...
Rex Murphy safely re-enters Ontario after snapping turtle hunt permanently banned
CORNWALL, ON – After years of living in fear of being shot at by ubiquitous snapping turtle hunters, Rex Murphy can finally enter Canada’s most populous province again following a decision by th...
Apple invents new laptop that is designed to be turned off once in a while
PAOLO ALTO – In a stunning announcement Apple Inc. has revealed that their new MacBook Pro has been specially built so that it will function better if turned off from time to time. “As our custo...
75% of Canada 150 budget spent on hiding worst parts of national history
OTTAWA – After rejecting most of the proposed Canada 150 projects in March, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau explained today that the majority of the anniversary budget had already been earmarked f...
Couple struggles to ferberize their smartphone
Halifax, NS – After purchasing their first family plan on Thursday, newlyweds Jerome and Anjelica Todd are struggling to ferberize their identical phones. “We knew it would be hard,” said Anjeli...
BLM vs police debate is taking away from the true meaning of Toronto Pride: corporate sponsorship
By: Mark Abdul Da Silva, Vice President of Big Synergy Marketing Inc. I’m disappointed to see the divisiveness caused by the conflict between Toronto Police Services and Black Lives Matter Toronto tea...
