Kanye changes name to Yitler
LOS ANGELES – In what is just the latest of his many character reinventions, Kanye West has announced he will be formally adopting the name Yitler. “I live my life and I live my truth. And it’s i…
“Controversies” section on Kanye West’s Wikipedia page eclipses “Music” section
AUSTIN – After Ye, formerly known as Kayne West, made a wide variety of antisemitic comments on Alex Jones’ Infowars broadcast, the rapper’s Wikipedia page now dedicates more space to his controv…
Ontario’s Minister Of Colluding With Real Estate Developers denies claims that government colluded with real estate developers
TORONTO – The Ontario Minister responsible for providing secret information to Real Estate Developers about the government’s plans to allow development on the Greenbelt denied allegat…
Canadians outraged that Sovereignty Act would keep Alberta in country
OTTAWA – Canadians nationwide are expressing their anger and frustration with Alberta Premier Danielle Smith’s proposed Sovereignty Act, fearing that it could mean that the province will re…
Read the text of the Alberta Sovereignty Act
Bill 1: Alberta Sovereignty Within A (temporarily) United Canada WHEREAS the federal government is a fuckin’ clown show bud; WHEREAS PM Justin Trudeau keeps making laws despite repeated req…
Supply chain issue results in shortage of cans of whoop-ass
TORONTO – Supply chain issues are leaving customers high and dry as an unexpected shortage of cans of whoop-ass grips the nation. Amidst lingering pandemic related delays and the rising cos…
Danielle Smith mandates that Alberta students must have at least 2 infectious diseases at all times
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has carried on her government’s fight against the fight against COVID by mandating that all Alberta students come to school with at least 2 i…
Serial killer refuses to murder again unless Netflix renegotiates contract
HAMILTON, ON – Local serial killer David Mark Thompson has announced an immediate work stoppage pending a more favourable contract from Netflix, Inc., producers of the popular true-crime se…
“Toronto is the most multicultural city in the world,” brags unicultural man to unicultural friends
TORONTO – Local white man Aaron Burton recently talked with his group of entirely white friends about how great it was to live in a city with so much diversity. “Multiculturalism is w…
Historians unearth the pagan roots of Cyber Monday, reveal its origin in the ancient festival of CompuServehain
CAMBRIDGE – Historians studying ancient documents from the dawn of the information age have recently discovered that the holiday known today as Cyber Monday can be traced all the way back t…
