SEATTLE, WA – Boeing unveiled a new aircraft today that some analysts are concerned is actually just two 737 MAX 8s in an overcoat. The embattled manufacturer has been under mounting pressu…
World
Exhausted Americans petition Greenland to purchase US instead
WASHINGTON – Millions of fed-up Americans have petitioned the autonomous Danish territory of Greenland to purchase the 243-year-old waning superpower for better healthcare, democratic repre…
Trump congratulates Gary Busey on becoming Prime Minister of UK
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Reacting to a photo of Boris Johnson on a muted TV this morning showing, President Donald Trump called to congratulate actor Gary Busey on becoming Prime Minister of the …
Belize changes national anthem to ‘Belize It or Not, I’m Walking on Air’
BELMOPAN, BELIZE- After a parliamentary debate that stretched into the wee hours, the government of Belize, the Central American country of approximately 400,000 people changed its national anthe…
Trump fails to notice that Royals sent cast of “The Crown” to greet him
LONDON — While in London on an official state visit, US President Donald Trump failed to recognize that Buckingham Palace had sent the cast of Netflix’s The Crown in place of the actual Roy…
Volunteer announces plan to build white saviour complex in Africa
TORONTO – In a well meaning attempt to uphold and reinforce neo-colonialism, volunteer Rebecca “Becky” Smith-Anderson has submitted a proposition to build a white saviour complex somewhere …
Modern-day Nazi hunter thought job would be harder
VANCOUVER – Modern day Nazi hunter Jim Smith has confirmed to reporters that he honestly thought his job would take a lot more effort in 2019. Smith, who joins a long tradition of committed activ…
Other famous political assassinations by milkshakes
With the recent murder of Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage by milkshake, the dangerous dairy beverage has been a popular weapon of choice for political assassins throughout history. Here are some…
New royal baby already accomplished everything in life he is expected to
LONDON – Swiftly following the birth of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s first child, Buckingham Palace spokespeople confirmed that he has already achieved all goals, objectives, and purposes exp…
Catholic Church assures billionaires that none of their Notre Dame donations will go to poor
VATICAN CITY — Speaking to the handful of billionaires, CEO’s, and corporations that had immediately donated billions of dollars to rebuild the burned Notre Dame Cathedral, Pope Francis ass…
