COPENDAM – The leaders of Denmark and the Netherlands have announced their countries are now unified explaining that the burden to explain the difference to North Americans is not worth the…
World
New ISIS Leader torn between striped tie and paisley tie for first day
Syria – Earlier this morning newly appointed ISIS leader Abu Ibrahim al-Hashimi al-Qurayshi was at a loss for which tie to wear on his first day, reportedly standing in front of the mirror …
Trump honestly forgets which debt he’s paying back by pulling troops from Syria
WASHINGTON – As President Trump announced a snap decision to remove US troops from Northern Syria, insiders report the president genuinely cannot recall which authoritarian leader this acti…
Report: Self-entitled Generation Z wants to live past the age of 40
NEW YORK – A new report has indicated that the next generation of children are so entitled that they want to live past the age of 40 with no desire to perish in a climate apocalypse. “Kids …
Ongoing Titanic deterioration halts production of live-action underwater musical
ST. JOHNS – A live-action underwater musical remake of the acclaimed film Titanic has been in the works for years, but production came to a halt this week after 4K footage of the delicate w…
Trump corrects Ezra Levant’s tweet rupturing fake news space-time continuum
WASHINGTON – A fake news black hole has emerged along the Canada-US border after US President Donald Trump corrected far-right pundit Ezra Levant about his tweet calling Canadian Prime Mini…
Boeing unveils new jet that looks suspiciously like two 737 MAX 8s in an overcoat
SEATTLE, WA – Boeing unveiled a new aircraft today that some analysts are concerned is actually just two 737 MAX 8s in an overcoat. The embattled manufacturer has been under mounting pressu…
Exhausted Americans petition Greenland to purchase US instead
WASHINGTON – Millions of fed-up Americans have petitioned the autonomous Danish territory of Greenland to purchase the 243-year-old waning superpower for better healthcare, democratic repre…
Trump congratulates Gary Busey on becoming Prime Minister of UK
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Reacting to a photo of Boris Johnson on a muted TV this morning showing, President Donald Trump called to congratulate actor Gary Busey on becoming Prime Minister of the …
Belize changes national anthem to ‘Belize It or Not, I’m Walking on Air’
BELMOPAN, BELIZE- After a parliamentary debate that stretched into the wee hours, the government of Belize, the Central American country of approximately 400,000 people changed its national anthe…
