NEW YORK – After almost two decades of mutant sightings in the New York sewers and a lengthy siege, spokespersons for the New York Police Department have reported that a nest of mutant turt…
U.S.
Washington tourism board promotes beautiful views from its fiscal cliff
WASHINGTON – The United States Tourism Board has launched a campaign encouraging people to witness Washington D.C.’s majestic fiscal cliff as it looms over the nation’s capital and the glob…
Paul Ryan to climb own widow’s peak
JANESVILLE, WI – Paul Ryan, the notoriously athletic and daring former vice-presidential candidate, has chosen to relax from the grueling campaign trail by taking on the monumental task of …
Tension leading up to US elections turns out to be mostly sexual
WASHINGTON – In what is being called the largest ever release of pent-up sexual energy, both Democratic and Republican voters engaged in a nation-wide orgy to relieve some of the intense em…
Mitt Romney divorces wife to marry corporation
MANCHESTER, N.H. – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced he is divorcing his wife of 40 years to marry a corporation with whom he has had a love affair over the last seven…
U.S. Air Force stealth bomber too stealthy
(UNDISCLOSED LOCATION) – Radar cannot detect it, and neither can the human eye. The U.S. Air Force’s top-secret stealth bomber, the C-THRU 117, a state-of-the-art aircraft so incredibly ste…
