SALT LAKE CITY — Following a landmark ruling from the U.S. Supreme Court earlier this week, Utah will continue to grant thousands of openly homophobic couples the right to wed.
“It’s a huge relief,” said Utah resident James Leatham, who, as a result of the Supreme Court’s decision, will have the legal privilege to marry any woman who shares his conviction that gay and lesbian couples should not be entitled to the same matrimonial rights and benefits as heterosexual ones. “Frankly, it’s about time the court came to its senses.”
“It’s 2014, for crying out loud!” Leatham added.
Homophobic marriage has been a growing trend in the United States over the past 238 years, with same-prejudice couples currently permitted to wed in more than 49 states.
“Thank God we live in a country where two people who are deeply in love can — regardless of race or creed — experience the joy of marriage despite their mutual belief that consenting individuals of the same sex should be denied the basic human and moral right to marry,” Leatham whimpered before wiping a tear from his cheek.
