VANCOUVER – In an effort to assure his fans, advertisers, and the internet at large that he is not transphobic, Twitch star John Dalton made certain to make sad faces throughout today’s Hog…
Tech
Tapping through Shoppers Drug Mart self-checkout screen enters third day
BRAMPTON, ON – Observers at a local Shoppers Drug Mart have reported that a customer has entered the third day of navigating the self-checkout kiosk, tapping through a seemingly endless suc…
Elon Musk promises to hand over Twitter CEO position to whomever can answer his riddles three
SAN FRANCISCO – It’s been another chaotic week at Twitter headquarters after company owner and CEO Elon Musk revealed he would only hand over his position as CEO to someone who could solve …
Twitter bans replying ‘lol’ to any joke not made by Elon Musk
SAN FRANCISCO – Twitter announced a surprising change to its Terms of Use today, informing users that replying ‘lol’, ‘lmao’, ‘haha’, and any variant thereof to any account othe…
Twitter bans journalists for failing to report on how much Elon Musk supports free speech
SAN FRANCISCO – Several prominent journalists have found their Twitter accounts permanently suspended under grounds that they spent insufficient time reporting on how Twitter CEO Elon Musk …
YouTube announces it has radicalised its ten millionth child
SAN BRUNO, CA — Celebrations erupted today at YouTube’s headquarters, marking the major milestone of the video sharing site successfully radicalising its ten millionth child. “We couldn’t be prou…
It happened to me: Be Real and my grandma’s life alert went off at the same time
By Cheri O’Toole Earlier this year, we got my aging grandmother a medical alert device to give us peace of mind and to give her shut of mouth, but another time sensitive program was rising in pop…
Success of Spotify Wrapped leads to controversial PornHub Rectumspective
MONTREAL — Following the footsteps of Spotify’s Wrapped feature, PornHub has released “PornHub Rectumspective”, allowing users to view and share data on all their explicit viewing hab…
Historians unearth the pagan roots of Cyber Monday, reveal its origin in the ancient festival of CompuServehain
CAMBRIDGE – Historians studying ancient documents from the dawn of the information age have recently discovered that the holiday known today as Cyber Monday can be traced all the way back t…
Elon Musk close to fulfilling conditions of eccentric uncle’s will to spend 45 B$ without giving it away
SAN FRANCISCO — Elon Musk is on the verge of completing the stipulations of his uncle’s will wherein he must spend 45 B$ without giving it away. By doing so before the end of the year, Elon Musk …
