SAN FRANCISCO – Several prominent journalists have found their Twitter accounts permanently suspended under grounds that they spent insufficient time reporting on how Twitter CEO Elon Musk …
Tech
YouTube announces it has radicalised its ten millionth child
SAN BRUNO, CA — Celebrations erupted today at YouTube’s headquarters, marking the major milestone of the video sharing site successfully radicalising its ten millionth child. “We couldn’t be prou…
It happened to me: Be Real and my grandma’s life alert went off at the same time
By Cheri O’Toole Earlier this year, we got my aging grandmother a medical alert device to give us peace of mind and to give her shut of mouth, but another time sensitive program was rising in pop…
Success of Spotify Wrapped leads to controversial PornHub Rectumspective
MONTREAL — Following the footsteps of Spotify’s Wrapped feature, PornHub has released “PornHub Rectumspective”, allowing users to view and share data on all their explicit viewing hab…
Historians unearth the pagan roots of Cyber Monday, reveal its origin in the ancient festival of CompuServehain
CAMBRIDGE – Historians studying ancient documents from the dawn of the information age have recently discovered that the holiday known today as Cyber Monday can be traced all the way back t…
Elon Musk close to fulfilling conditions of eccentric uncle’s will to spend 45 B$ without giving it away
SAN FRANCISCO — Elon Musk is on the verge of completing the stipulations of his uncle’s will wherein he must spend 45 B$ without giving it away. By doing so before the end of the year, Elon Musk …
Elon Musk suspended from Twitter for impersonating competent businessman
SAN FRANCISCO — Elon Musk’s Twitter account was briefly suspended for violating the site’s new parody guidelines after he was discovered tweeting in the guise of a “successful entrepreneur.” The …
Zuckerberg banishes 11,000 workers to the Metaverse
MENLO PARK, CA – After disappointing results in the latest quarter, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg sent out a notice to his workforce that the company is expelling 11,000 employees from corporeal…
Musk makes twitter profitable by charging users $8 to leave
SAN FRANCISCO – Newly minted Twitter owner Elon Musk has announced an ambitious plan to generate profit for the first time in company history by charging its users a fee to quit the site. A…
Local man figures he’ll wait until the next internet outage to read a book
PRINCE ALBERT, SK – As internet service returns to hundreds of Rogers customers nationwide, local copywriter Jack Pally’s plan to enjoy literature has been postponed yet again until the nex…