MONTREAL – A recent study conducted by the McGill University’s Cultural Studies School found that 28% of all Canadian musical acts were Juno-winning pop ensemble Arkells. “It was surprising…
Study
Archeologists determine newly uncovered artifact either torture device or women’s fashion
LONDON, UK – Archeologists have uncovered a series of artifacts dated to the 6th century in Northern France this week, identifying them as either an instrument of torture and humiliation, …
STUDY: Uncle still believes thing you liked when you were 3 represents your whole personality
DRUMMONDVILLE, QC – According to a detailed study of birthday cards received and samples of holiday dinner smalltalk, analysts are reporting that your uncle Victor has not made any updates …
Study finds old people who claim they have no regrets actually have lots of regrets
KAMLOOPS, BC – A study by the Canadian Institute of Geriatrics has discovered a direct correlation between people who claim they lived a life without regrets and people who actually have a …
STUDY: Sunbeam through window proves cat dusty
OTTAWA – Vexing people with allergies, a series of afternoon sunbeams through a window have proven that a local cat emits a surprising number of dust particles after moving or scratching it…
Study reveals ratio of “Netflix” to “chilling” at all time low
TORONTO – Shattering the expectation of internet memes everywhere, new research out of the University of Toronto indicates that full incidents of Netflix and chilling combined are at histor…
STUDY: 9 out of 10 women would replace finger with never-ending ChapStick
GUELPH, ON – With the arrival of cold weather, a new study has determined that 9 out of 10 women would gladly remove one of their fingers to install a permanent, everlasting tube of ChapSti…
STUDY: Shitty boyfriend will for sure change this time
DARTMOUTH, N.S. – Putting to rest any doubt in the minds of ex-girlfriends everywhere, a new study has found that – despite noticing an established pattern of selfish, inexcusable beh…
