…
Sports
CBC accidentally rehires spiffily dressed homeless man instead of Don Cherry
TORONTO – In a recent CBC gaffe, Hockey Night in Canada has mistakenly rehired a colourfully dressed homeless person instead of legendary hockey commentator Don Cherry. The homeless man, who iden…
Lance Armstrong apologizes to cancer for tarnishing image
AUSTIN, TX – Disgraced cycling icon Lance Armstrong apologized today to cancer, the broad group of diseases involving unregulated cell growth that affects tens of millions of people around …
Under Nonis, Leafs to phase out hockey, shift focus to long-range telecommunications
TORONTO – Since taking the Maple Leafs GM position just a few days ago, Dave Nonis has implemented sweeping changes to improve the struggling organization, most notably cutting waste, re-en…
TSN anchor cries tears of joy while reporting end of NHL lockout
TORONTO – Mid-way through announcing the end of professional hockey’s 113 day lockout, TSN Sportscentre anchor Darren ‘Dutchy’ Dutchyshen broke down in tears, declaring it “the end of [his]…
World Juniors: Aggressive Canadians playing as if opponents have universal healthcare
UFA, RUSSIA – Despite their successful start to the 2012-2013 World Junior Hockey Tournament, Team Canada has been put on the defensive over accusations by other teams that they play with l…
On day 104 of NHL lockout, Brian Burke reflects on most successful season as Leafs GM
TORONTO – With the NHL lockout nearing its original end date of December 30th, Toronto Maple Leafs General Manager, Brian Burke, took a moment to reflect on his most successful season with …
BREAKING: Sidney Crosby out for remainder of CBA negotiations with concussion-like symptoms
NEW YORK – The NHLPA suffered a serious blow today as Pittsburgh Penguins’ forward Sidney Crosby told reporters he will be out indefinitely after experiencing concussion-like symptoms. The …
