BY: CRAIG TOWNSEND, FATHER AND ACCOUNTANT My dear boy, you’re coming to that age where you might think that your mother and I didn’t expect to have you as one of our children. I can tell you that…
Opinion
I love riding my Sea-Doo at the cottage vs. Thanks for ruining my peaceful holiday weekend at the cottage, asshole
Point: I love riding my Sea-Doo at the cottage By: Brayden Gregorsen I have worked hard to get where I am today. And you have too. That is why we deserve to live take pleasure in the simple thing…
Has anyone seen my gun?
BY CONSTABLE SHERMAN McGARRY, CALGARY POLICE DEPARTMENT Uh, Hi. I hate to bother you with this problem, but have you seen where I put my Colt C8 assault rifle that I put somewhere? Oh boy, I’d be…
Valentine’s Day was invented by corporations trying to sell more Torque Aquiline Sexbots
By: Hank Egelman Valentine’s day is a Christian tradition first celebrated in the 17th century in honour of a martyred saint killed by beheading. But since then, it’s morphed from a simple religi…
I wish my Australian roommate would quit calling me a cunt all the time
By: Steve Baerwald Do you have problems with your roommates? Do they come home late and make a lot of noise? Do they use up all the hot water? Do they call you a cunt? No? Mine does. He’s always …
If God wanted us to die with dignity he wouldn’t have revoked Dying with Dignity’s charity status
BY: FATHER MATTHEW O’REILLY Over the past few decades I have been pained to see Canada straying into Godlessness, from allowing abortions to letting the gays marry. Finally, however, the Harper g…
SPONSORED CONTENT: Redeem favourable media coverage under the new RBC rewards program
BY: AMANDA LANG, CBC’s SENIOR BUSINESS CORRESPONDENT RBC values their customers. To show their appreciation, they are now offering RBC Rewards members the ability to redeem favourable media…
The true meaning of the season
BY KRAMPUS, THE GERMANIC YULETIDE DEMON Guten Tag! With the holidays upon us once more it is time for I, the Krampus, to reflect on what is truly important. Oh, I’m certain things seem very simpl…
Charles Manson is getting married and I’m still single, even after I murdered all those people
BY DAVID ALAN RUSKIN Well ain’t that just a kick in the pants? 80 year old convicted murderer and cult leader Charles Manson – yes, that Charles Manson – is engaged to marry an attrac…
Harper tells Putin to ‘get out of Ukraine’
At the G20 Conference in Australia last weekend, Prime Minister Harper had a brief showdown with Russian President Vladimir Putin, telling him to “Get out of Ukraine.” What’s your say? “So…
