Son, you weren't an accident; you were a tax benefit - The Beaverton

Son, you weren’t an accident; you were a tax benefit

BY: CRAIG TOWNSEND, FATHER AND ACCOUNTANT

My dear boy, you’re coming to that age where you might think that your mother and I didn’t expect to have you as one of our children. I can tell you that is completely not true since we had you to take advantage of over $6,000 in tax savings every year.

I know your older brother and sister tease you and say that your birth was an unintentional burden on our family and you were just another mouth to feed. But Madison and Tyler had no idea of how much we love you when you increase our annual net income with the various government benefits.

No accident could play soccer like you since we save an additional $1,000 per year under Line 365 of our tax return. While you’re scoring points on the field, Mom and I are scoring huge in the bank account.

When we decided to have you, we made sure that you would be in a loving home, which mortgage was secured since we used your child care benefits as a source of income for borrower’s qualification purposes.

But remember; when you’re 18, you’ll need to leave since these benefits expire. Also, you’re paying your own way through university. Now, let’s go get ice cream!