TORONTO – In a move designed to lessen the terrible horror humanity has endured in 2017, CTV has commissioned a ‘year in review’ special from the Beaverton to air New Year’s Eve at 10pm. “O…
National
“$60 for 10GB” phone plans give Canadians euphoric glimpse of cell pricing everywhere else on Earth
CANADA — A limited time offer of 10GB of data for $60 per month by Canada’s main wireless providers have left Canadians reeling in ecstasy as they encounter cell plans that would be pretty …
Autocorrect nightmare: Typo in Bill C-45 legalizes cannibalism instead of cannabis
OTTAWA – Canada is one step closer to the accidental legalization of cannibalism after the House of Commons passed a typo-ridden Bill C-45, formerly known as The Cannabis Act. “I think no o…
Unknown generation sought for questioning after brutal murder of local industry
THE CITY – Following the shocking murder of an aging industry, police are seeking an unknown generation for questioning about the crime. “At this point, the generation we’re looking for not…
In historic apology Trudeau promises LGBTQ soldiers that, from now on, they’ll only be mistreated for being veterans
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Government gives Yazidi refugees monthly stipend with enough to live on in 1993
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Inspiring! This rat king slogged through 500 meters of plumbing to crawl out of your toilet and eat your decorative soaps
We’ve all had days when everything seems to go against you: traffic, bills, your crazy coworkers. And the screeching knot of conjoined rats scrabbling around your bathtub sure knows that feel. Bu…
What does Jagmeet Singh have to do to win in Quebec?
Jagmeet Singh’s Quebec strategy.…
Liberal housing strategy suggests becoming Prime Minister as quickest way to receive subsidized housing
TORONTO – The federal Liberals recently-announced low-income housing strategy suggests that the fastest way of receiving subsidized housing is by becoming a Canadian Prime Minister. “What w…
Justin Trudeau lets himself go after realizing he is oldest major party leader
OTTAWA – After realizing that he is now the oldest leader of Canada’s three major political parties, Justin Trudeau has stopped his rigorous exercise regimen and started eating every piece …
