By: Chris Standin President Trump has gone ahead with his long rumoured plans to put a 25% tariff on all Canadian goods sold in the United States (other than energy, which got 10%). He believes h…
National
Report: Just one or two million mistakes can bring down a Prime Minister
OTTAWA – According to experts Justin Trudeau resigning is proof that just making political error after political error over the course of 9 years can topple even the most powerful politicia…
Canadian man tempted to support annexation just to watch Americans try to deal with Quebec
OTTAWA – Local man Matthew Kearns has admitted that, despite despising Trump and wanting Canada to remain independent, it would almost be worth becoming the 51st state just to watch America…
Trudeau orders end to Canada Post strike after learning Santa Claus not real
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has ordered an end to the ongoing Canada Post strike after learning that Santa Claus, who he was counting on to deliver presents to the entire country…
Canadians who support the U.S. annexing us explain why
According to a recent poll, about 13% of Canadians support Donald Trump’s recent suggestion that Canada become the 51st state. Naturally we wanted to ask them “what the fuck is wrong …
Poilievre denies he’d be a Canadian Trump: “I’ll be more like a Canadian JD Vance”
OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre continues to refute all Liberal Party attempts to tie him to President Donald Trump, insisting that if people pay close attention they’ll see he’s way …
“I can’t believe anyone would vote for Trump,” says smug Canadian man planning to vote for Poilievre
OTTAWA – A smug man from Canada wasted no time this morning chastising Americans for re-electing terrifying liar and felon Donald Trump, despite the fact that he plans to vote for terrifyin…
Justin Trudeau announces another thing for Poilievre to cancel next year
OTTAWA – Yesterday Justin Trudeau made a bold commitment, announcing billions of dollars in funding for a massive government program to make Canadians lives better in some way, which Pierre…
The Beaverton Is Dying. Unless You Save It
Beloved Readers, When we started The Beaverton we were just a bunch of smartasses trying to make each other laugh during our weekly meeting on the second floor of a disgusting pub behind Honest E…
Trudeau to cut immigration so he has less competition for his job search next year
OTTAWA – Canada’s Liberal government has lowered immigration targets in the hopes Justin Trudeau sees less competition in the private sector job market when he starts sending around resumes…
