OTTAWA – Following the news that MP and former Health Minister Tony Clement is stepping down from his role as shadow Justice Minister due to a sexting scandal, Health Canada has announced i…
National
Thousands of Canadians remind their one American friend on Facebook to vote
WINNIPEG – Scores of Canadians on social media have reminded their only American friend that they should vote in the US midterm election if they haven’t already. “Just in case you didn̵…
Facing loud, violent neighbour, Canada moves to a safer continent
OTTAWA – Making good on its promise to live in a better neighbourhood, the second largest country in the world has made the move out of the North America. Canada packed up its 10 million sq…
100% of Canada’s Halloween candy suddenly eaten today
OTTAWA – For reasons as yet unknown, the nation has abruptly consumed every last piece of Halloween candy, almost two weeks before trick-or-treating is set to commence, succumbing to an acu…
Dozens die in cannabis legalization joke overdoses
OTTAWA – Dozens of Canadians are reportedly dead and thousands of others have been hospitalized after consuming a deadly amount of cannabis-related jokes immediately after pot became legal.…
Marijuana-sniffing dogs reassigned to Canada civil service
OTTAWA — With Canada’s upcoming legalization of marijuana, the Federal Government has reassigned dozens of former cannabis-sniffing dogs to work in various other ministries and departments.…
India cracks down on CRA scams after Canada threatens to send PM back for another official visit
DELHI – Authorities in India have arrested dozens in relation to CRA phone scams after Canada threatened to return Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to the country for another official visit. G…
Supreme Court reaffirms indigenous right to decades-long legal battles
OTTAWA – The Supreme Court of Canada gave its ruling confirming an indigenous communities right to incredibly long, drawn out legal battles with the federal government before their rights a…
Nation’s sweaty men demand arrest of weird summer weather
OTTAWA – Representatives from the nationwide coalition of Canada’s sweaty, clammy, and otherwise moist men have descended on Parliament to demand swift justice against this Fall’s unseasona…
Canadians thankful they can’t name single Canadian Supreme Court Justice
OTTAWA – As Canadian families from coast-to-coast gathered together for thanksgiving, the vast majority took time to be grateful for the fact they never have, nor likely would, ever know th…