The Freedom Convoy is back everyone! After making Ottawa the most exciting place to have racial slurs screamed at you back in February, they are planning to return to protest on Canada Day. But s…
National
Canadian women rest easy in the knowledge misogyny uniquely American problem
OTTAWA – Across the nation, women are reacting to today’s horrifying news that the U.S. Supreme Court has struck down Roe v. Wade with compassion for their American counterparts, but are taking c…
Trudeau promises to continue timing Canadian laws with American tragedies
OTTAWA – After recently announcing passage of a host of new gun control laws in the wake of the deadly Uvalde, Texas school shooting, and re-affirming Canada’s support of legal abortion aft…
With vaccine mandates lifted, most annoying relative now able to make family reunion
OSHAWA, ON – As Canada’s federal government lifts COVID-19 vaccine mandates for domestic travel, allowing unvaccinated people on planes and trains, everyone’s least favorite uncle, Ga…
Right-Wingers confident they have finally found the twitter hashtag that gets Trudeau to resign
OTTAWA – Right-wingers across the country are confident that, despite all previous 8,327 trending twitter hashtags failing to convince Justin Trudeau to resign, this next one will be the on…
Trudeau assures Canadians that airports will be fine once rampant inflation makes flying prohibitively expensive
OTTAWA – Seeking to ease Canadians fears that our airports are becoming chaotic hellscapes, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau promised that soon inflation will make travelling so expensive that…
American celebrities praising Canada’s gun control laws enough to power nation’s smugness generators for rest of year
OTTAWA – As American celebrities and liberal politicos continue to praise Canada’s approach to gun control, the country’s smugness monitors are reporting near record highs. R…
Trudeau promises to stop swearing in House of Commons if it’ll keep you stupid cunts happy
OTTAWA – After being accused of dropping an f-bomb during Parliamentary proceedings, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has promised to no longer swear in the House of Commons if that’s really w…
Conservatives reassure Canadians they will not enact an abortion ban until they finish packing Supreme Court
OTTAWA – In the wake of a leaked decision overturning Roe v. Wade, Canadian Conservatives are promising Canadians that they won’t seek to enact the abortion bans soon to be forthcomin…
Conservative Leadership Candidate Profile: Patrick Brown
Background: Patrick Walter Brown is a career politician who has served as an MP, MPP, Mayor of Brampton, and unofficial bartender at numerous Barrie bars. He is known to be a moderate Conservativ…